


my heart on my sleeve

by DarchangelSkye



Category: American Idol RPF, Music RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Absent Parents, Alternate Universe - High School, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Cuddling & Snuggling, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Late at Night, Loneliness, M/M, Mild Language, Sneaking Out, Teen love, Wordcount: 1.000-3.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-27 02:30:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7599964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarchangelSkye/pseuds/DarchangelSkye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>He was so lost in bliss he almost didn't hear MacKenzie murmur "Must be nice."</i>
  <br/>
  <i>"Hm?" He loosened his face from the burrowing to look at MacKenzie directly. "What's nice?"</i>
  <br/>
  <i>"Having parents that can actually be bothered."</i>
</p><p>(takes place in the same high-school!AU setting of <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/6694399">Want</a> and <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/7474668">Touch Me</a>)</p>
            </blockquote>





	my heart on my sleeve

Since Mom and Dad were asleep by now, the only lights on in the house were the lamp overhead Dalton's desk as he worked and the muted glow of his phone beside him. MacKenzie had had a major test today, and other than a quick good-morning-and-good-luck text Dalton had made sure not to distract his boyfriend. Although he did occasionally spin the phone around on the desk, wondering if he could say anything now...

Make no mistake, MacKenzie was the same surprisingly sweet guy as always. But there'd been moments where the look in his eyes was...unfocused, distant. Dalton had chalked it up to three possibilities: school stress, having second thoughts over being so close and intimate, or his own imagination was running haywire as usual and he was worrying over nothing.

Speak of the devil, the phone finally buzzed. Dalton unlocked the screen with a wide grin.

_Hey babe. Thanks for the text <3 _

Well, Mack couldn't be using sweet nicknames if he was having second thoughts, right? _:-* howd the test go?_

_Think I managed. What you doing now?_

_Finishing the rough of that book report. Why?_

The conversation stalled long enough for the screen to dim from inactivity and Dalton bit his lip. _Are you ok?_

 _Mom &dad aren't home._ Which was quickly followed by _& I don't mean like "come over I'm horny" I mean like "everything feels weird"_

Dalton sighed. MacKenzie was one of those late products of two-career households that seemed to be a common thing in their class. They would be frequently out of the house, whether business-related or just because. Mack had never complained, in fact he seemed to relish the freedom of not being burdened by so many parental orders. But not tonight it looked like.

Maybe that was behind the distant look.

_You think someone's gonna break in?_

_Nah that's least of my problems. Just feels so empty._

Shit. He'd never heard Mack sound so...lonely. He glanced toward his door, foot tapping the floor anxiously. This was something he'd never considered doing and one hell of a risk, but- _eff it. I'm coming over._

_No Dalt i'll be fine. Finish your report._

_Lit's not til last period. that's plenty of time to make headway._ He shoved his phone in his pocket before MacKenzie could answer and stood with a rapid heart. 

Dalton tried to think of himself as a good kid, and slipping out in the middle of the night was definitely not a good thing, but what if MacKenzie was more upset than he was letting on? He needed somebody beside him.

And if it was the other way around, there was no way in hell Dalton would want to be alone either.

He tore a sheet from his notebook to scribble: _at Mack's. He seems upset about something. I'll try to be back soon._ Hopefully that last part would be the truth. He stuck the note to his door, turned off the lamp, and padded down the stairs and out the house as quickly as he was breathing. 

The sky was still navy-blue when Dalton got outside, and some neighboring houses with upper floor lights still on. Even in the cool air, he felt his hands sweaty on his steering wheel. Alright, had to breathe calm and drive slow; it wouldn't do Mack any good if he crashed.

A few careful turns around corners later and the house was in view, a lone light glowing from MacKenzie's room. Of course Dalton had been in there many times, admiring all his boyfriend's awards and writeups and feeling a private happiness that a framed photo of the pair, taken at their first school dance together, sat prominent on his dresser.

And there went his hands sweating again. Shit, he really couldn't leave MacKenzie alone now.

Once at the front door he fiddled at his keyring to find the house key Mack gave him on Valentine's Day, gold-colored for it being "the key to heaven". Dalton still felt a flutter inside when he winked and grinned saying that, even if it'd been a while before they slept together.

He really did love Mack for making him smile.

And the question struck him of whether he'd ever said that aloud.

Once in the house Dalton didn't even bother kicking off his shoes before running up the familiar stairs. A light glowed under the closed bedroom door and he pushed it open to see MacKenzie lying on his bed facing the ceiling. Thank god.

"Hm?" MacKenzie turned to face his boyfriend with a tired smile. "Hey, babe. Didn't hear ya come in."

"You're alright-" Dalton breathed in relief and stumbled towards the bed with arms open; MacKenzie sat up to complete the embrace and quickly Dalton felt the familiar sturdiness of both arms and smoothness of skin with nose burrowed in the young man's neck, breathed in his warm and clean scent.

He must've been clinging tightly, as MacKenzie said while rubbing over his back, "Hey, Dalt, it's OK. I wasn't gonna do anything nuts."

"I know," Dalton half-lied, still muffled by skin. "Just missed you today."

He loved MacKenzie. He loved him, he loved him, he loved him.

"Parents know you're here?"

"No..." But he still swung his legs up to be completely lying on the bed in a cuddle hold. "Am I being clingy?"

Mack shook his head. "Nah. You're a great cuddler." He lightly played with the back of Dalton's hair while Dalton continued to breathe and squeeze to make up for the lost hours. Sweet and tender, just like when they first started out. He was so lost in bliss he almost didn't hear MacKenzie murmur "Must be nice."

"Hm?" He loosened his face from the burrowing to look at MacKenzie directly. "What's nice?"

"Having parents that can actually be bothered."

Dalton blinked in slow confusion, taking in MacKenzie's words and the return of his distant expression. Could actually be bothered- why would Mack think that? "You think your parents don't love you?" Even the idea was the saddest thing in the world to him.

MacKenzie gave a one-shouldered shrug. "I mean, I'm lucky they never gave me shit about bein' gay or dating you, and they pay for all my basketball camps and stuff, but it just feels like...they're not there even when they're here, y'know?"

Dalton nervously bit his lip in recollection of every time he'd been here, whether for dinner or study sessions or when he and Mack (sometimes with friends in a party setting but most times just them) would play video games and watch movies in the den. Mr. and Mrs. Bourg were polite and always smiling, even if preoccupied. But preoccupation with rules and boundaries wasn't much of a thing. 

As if reading his mind, MacKenzie went on, "I mean, how many times have you heard 'em say 'be back by this time' or 'no you can't do that' or even a 'oh how was your day'?"

"Not a whole lot," Dalton admitted and his gaze dropped to the pattern on his boyfriend's shirt. It had taken a long time before his own parents thought he was capable of making his own decisions and he'd envied MacKenzie that. But it wasn't that amazing after all.

"They're too busy living their own lives to play parent police. I betcha when I go off to college they won't even tell the difference."

Dalton scowled. "They still do things with you, Mack." They came to most of his games- hell, they sometimes even accompanied their son in the audience when he came to Dalton's plays.

"When they remember they have a son," MacKenzie's voice went whisper-quiet and he tightened his embrace. "Why even have kids if you don't want to be a parent?"

Dalton asked himself that every time he heard stories of kids beaten- or worse- by their own parents. To put all your trust into two people who were supposed to protect and provide for you and have that trust be broken was a pain he couldn't think to bear. And the idea of treating an innocent person as a punching bag was beyond selfish and disgusting.

But there was more than one way to hurt a child.

"You weren't a surprise baby, were you?"

"No," MacKenzie said dully. "They said I was planned."

"Then they had you because they wanted to," Dalton scooted to kiss his boyfriend's forehead.

"Wanting them as babies isn't good enough, either. You have to want them when they're teenagers, too..." And MacKenzie's voice cracked ever so softly and he burrowed his face in Dalton's hair to shudder.

Dalton felt his heart break and repair in the same instant. Here was a boy who did everything he could to have everybody appreciate him, and on the surface it looked like it worked, but when the two people whose approval you wanted the most just weren't there...

He rubbed careful circles on his boyfriend's back and listened to his heart and breathing. Maybe what he was thinking to say couldn't heal everything, but at least Mack would know- "You know I love you, right?" he asked with such sincerity he felt a lump in his throat.

MacKenzie pulled back to stare with a face whose eyes were happy but lower half was confused. "You do?"

Dalton nodded. "I thought I didn't have to say it because you're sweet and affectionate enough I figured that said everything." He smiled softly at remembering every moment. "But you deserve to know, Mack. You're really a good person." He nuzzled back into the embrace, heart pounding, awaiting the response. Was putting himself out there worth it after all?

Finally MacKenzie kissed the crown of his hair. "I love you, too. And that's something _I'm_ guilty of not telling you much sooner."

Dalton went limp in the embrace but felt himself smiling. MacKenzie knew he loved him, and it wasn't one-sided. They each had somebody to care about them. "Wow," he said in soft awe, even laughing a bit at how silly it sounded but it was real.

"Uh huh." MacKenzie cupped Dalton's cheeks so they could be eye to eye again, and he saw the happiness all over spread down to that smile.

He leaned close to rub a thumb under Mack's eye like catching any tears threatening to appear, then pecked the softest of kisses on the lips he adored. The lips that loved kissing him back, loved giving him sweet nicknames, loved telling him how awesome he was at playing and that his singing was the best- and now the lips that had said the most magical words.

MacKenzie returned the peck and affectionately draped his arms around Dalton's neck. Dalton took that as a cue to give another kiss, and the hum in response told him that was just right.

The pair lost themselves in a momentary lull of kissing back and forth while hands massaged at each other's back and arms and eyes gazed adoringly.It wasn't the flirty, teasing kind of kissing they'd do out on dates, or the heavy making out that had usually come to prelude sex. It was practically innocent in its actions, with a spark of sweet love suffusing each motion. Dalton was determined for every kiss to let MacKenzie feel he was loved and appreciated by somebody, and the tingles throughout his skin at each touch told him he was doing just that.

"Hmm..." At some point Mack completely laid back with a sigh Dalton could take as contentment, and with a lazy stretch he rest his head on his boyfriend's chest. The heartbeat was loud and clear under his thin T-shirt.

"Thanks, Dalt."

"Anytime," he smiled and pecked at the most worn part of the shirt to make MacKenzie laugh softly.

"Probably shouldn't keep you out too late..." MacKenzie trailed off, and Dalton got up on his elbows. Even if Mack's mood was a little better, the fact remained he'd still be by himself for who knew how long, never knowing if the doubts could come back to run through his mind, if Dalton were to go home now.

No, he couldn't leave somebody he loved alone. He sat up completely and ran a slow hand over the smooth and ruffled hair he knew was a sensitive spot in the best way.

"Come home with me, Mack," he murmured lovingly, adding when he saw the flash of confusion in his boyfriend's eyes, "I mean, you'll have to sleep in the guest room but I'm sure Mom and Dad'll understand when I tell them why." At least he hoped so.

MacKenzie's smile was softly optimistic. "Yeah?"

Dalton nodded. "They like it when you're over. You're welcome a lot." He held off on making that _You're always welcome_. Maybe at some point in the future, but conversation tonight had already been heavy.

The wheels of thought seemed to turn behind MacKenzie's eyes for a moment before he nodded in return, kissed the tip of Dalton's nose, and got up from the bed. Dalton silently watched him gather his books for tomorrow into his backpack then rummage in his dresser for clean clothes. He knew he was doing the right thing, even if a slightly crazy thing. People could do the oddest things for the ones they loved.

Love. They could finally say that word.

Mack hoisted his backpack on a shoulder and slipped an arm around Dalton's waist. "Ready when you are, babe."

Dalton completed the embrace and started the two down the stairs. "I love being your babe. I know it's not original, but the way you say it feels so right."

"'Cause I mean it." MacKenzie kissed the side of his mouth with such warmth, he knew those words were full of truth and love.


End file.
